With Friends Like That…

So I’m driving around my regular kids’ shuttle service the other afternoon and I start listening to Kid E in the back seat. ┬áThis is what I heard:

“I will punch you in the face.”

“Then I will punch you harder right in the middle of your face.”

“Then I will knock down a tree and make it fall on your head.”

“Then I will hit you so hard with that tree that it makes your head fall off.”

I asked him who in the world he was talking to back there. ┬áHe replied, “Oh, just my friend.”

Dude, I don’t think I wanna be your friend.