Why I Don’t Bring My Kids to the Grocery Store

I usually try to go to the grocery store while the kids are all in school.  Then there are days when I run out of something specific (usually wine) but my morning schedule does not allow for a grocery run, so I just take Kid E in with me after I pick him up from school.  Nick the Meat Guy, Bill the Deli Guy and all of the checkout ladies were shocked recently to hear that I have five kids.  They all thought I just had the one.  I was flattered at first (“NO WAY that you have five kids!”) but then I wondered who in the world they thought ate all of the food that I buy.  No joke that if Kroger had a Frequent Flyer program, I’d be going free and First Class to Fiji right now.

Anyway, attempting to the grocery store with one kid is not so bad.  I can even occasionally tolerate shopping with two kids in tow.  But three or more kids tagging along is clumsy and crowded and not ideal.  They all want stuff (“Can we puh-leeeeese get Lucky Charms?”) and try to push the cart (usually into a very tall and breakable display) and get all needy and have to go to the bathroom or lose one shoe somewhere along the way, thus wrecking my dream to ever get recruited by the Supermarket Sweep people.

So when I realized today that I was again out of wine I tried to go to the store early to stock up.  Unfortunately, I was at the salon all morning undergoing Step Two of a multi-step process by which I am becoming a redhead (a post for a different day), and I was unable to make it work.  I had to wait for Kids C and D to get off the elementary bus and then we all headed out for just a few things.

I don’t know if it was the full moon or that it is Friday or it is so close to Christmas or my kids are just weird, but it was complete chaos in the store and it ended with a fit of giggles on the car ride home.  It was actually a really fun time.  This is how they looked right before we unloaded our haul:

Wish me luck for tomorrow…

3 responses to “Why I Don’t Bring My Kids to the Grocery Store

  1. I remember that Kroger lady who always handed M&C balloons or sticker. She must work more than one job, because she, at Kohl’s, also recommended me our first GPS. Nice people!!

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