When you walk on by, boys be looking like, “Damn, she fly!”
You sing to the beat, walking down the street in your new DCs (yeah)
This is how you roll, pink leg warmers outta control
It’s Hermione with a big ass ‘fro
And like Clarissa, you explain it all (yo)
It's actually Kid B who wears the DCs, but they fit in the song so I went with it
A teenager who knows everything... go figure!
Girl, look at that body
Girl, look at that body
Girl, look at that body.
She d-d-dances ballet
When you walk in the spot, (yeah) this is what I see (okay)
Everybody stops and they staring at thee
You got the keys to Daddy’s car and you ain’t afraid to drive it, drive it, drive it (slow)
You’re sixteen and we know it
Yo, when you’re at the mall, Forever 21 gets all your dough
When you’re at the beach, you’re doing sisones, try to get The Pose (watch!)
Kid A's Mexican sisone
This is how you roll, come on B it’s time to go
You headed on a dinner date, hope you get good service
Daddy’s cleaning his guns, but boy don’t be nervous (whaat?!)
Text, text, text, text, text yeah
Text, text, text, text, text yeah
Text, text, text, text, text yeah
Girl, look at that body
Girl, look at that body
Girl, look at that body.
She d-d-dances ballet
YOU’RE SIXTEEN AND WE KNOW IT!
Kid A had a milestone birthday last week. She was given the option some months ago of having either a Sweet Sixteen party or a car. Being a very smart kid, she opted for the car.
But my mom was having none of that nonsense. Sheepdog and I can give her a car, but she was giving her a party. Armed with her party planning experience and a purple and silver theme, she set off like a force of nature. I heard her exclaim on more than one occasion, “I have a vision! Get out of my way!”
So we did, and Kid A got to celebrate turning sixteen with her friends, her family, a DJ and an awesome spread.
And apparently I have been influenced way more by Weird Al Yankovic than I care to admit. Shout out to LMFAO and their hysterical song, “Sexy and I Know It” for the basis of my song parody.
Oh, hello. I’ll bet you thought that I forgot about you. Well, I promise that I didn’t. I have been appropriately guilt-ridden for not properly tending to this blog over the past few weeks (months), but frankly there are six other people who live in this house who have become increasingly demanding lately and they tend to yell and cry right in my face when I ignore them. This blog just silently nags at me. What with the squeaky wheel and all, appeasing the natives comes first. Then I tend to collapse into my bed, exhausted.
I honestly can not believe the speed at which time is passing. I feel like I’m living in some kind of crazy warp. Every day I wake up and I blink and it is night. I am trying to enjoy the little things and live in the moment and all of the stuff that they tell you to do in the country music songs, but it seems an impossible task when complete months are whizzing by me without fully registering. For example, just last week I went to the bathroom and saw some blood and presumed I was dying rather than believe that four weeks had passed since my last period. It in fact had, but it felt like there was just no way that was possible.
So I find myself re-adjusting my daily schedule. I am playing virtually no video games and I hardly even recognize the Atlanta Housewives anymore (Kim’s son is probably in high school now, for all I know). Santa brought me P90X2 for Christmas (by the way, he and the pleasantly plump Mrs. are on the Biggest Loser this season, which is totally freaking my younger kids out) and I have been working out almost every day as well. The kids’ sports and activities are back in full swing, as is school (picture me Tebowing for the short Winter Break). But I love, love, love writing this blog, so I just have to make a few more adjustments so I can fit it back into my daily life. Or I have to invent some kind of machine that can create more hours in the day. I should get Sheepdog working on that.
Did you see the game last night? This kid is something special.
I think it was Kid C that noticed me mumbling something one day as I was walking from the kitchen out to the garage. She was waiting for me in the car because I had to drive her somewhere. As I climbed in to my seat she asked me, “Did you just whisper ‘BRB,’ and who were you talking to because the door is closed?”
For those of you who don’t text, or live in this century, or maybe still use a Palm device, I’ll explain that “BRB” is short for “be right back.” And apparently I have been saying it to nobody in particular every time I go out for a while now. I didn’t consciously realize I was saying it at all.
So I thought about it while I was driving around. Maybe I was saying “BRB” to the house. Maybe I was saying it to the people who were inside (although sometimes there were none). But I’d really like to think that I was saying “BRB” to my blog. Because I really do miss it. And in my weird time warped existence, maybe I am just now getting right back. So here’s to many more blog posts in 2012, and me finding the time to write them!
Also, effective immediately you can find This Is How I Do It at http://www.tihidi.com (the “wordpress” part is now unnecessary). And some of you mentioned that you stopped getting notifications whenever I publish new posts. Wordpress still can not figure that one out, but you can re-subscribe by entering your email at the top right of any page. As always, thank you for reading and I hope you are enjoying the peek behind my curtain.
